Very Important Rant
Friday, March 28, 2008
Well, I have lots of sch now.. Very sad life.
To sum things up, I just switched my junior college, to a more prestigious one. Somehow, it seems that My parents FORCED me. Well, it is not really bad, it is infact a good school, but.. it JUST DOSEN't suit me. It just DOSEN't!! I have this demoralizing feeling that the guys and gals are just TOO smart, TOO studious... TOO perfect!!! And, I REALLY SUCKED in almost everything school related, I really feel like a NOOB in a bunch of perfect people. Thinking abt it again, I should have gone to the Poly.
I can't find even a single like minded geek like me there. None I've seen is able to appreciate computers like me. NO1 likes digital art like me. NO1 does computer hardware like me.
OMG. Ironically, I am in the computing course. I even took part in the 2 main IT clubs.
I have some friends though, they are kinda friendly. But, they don't share any similar interests with me. And, sometimes, i feel quite left out, very lonely.
It may be a bit disappointing to hear this from me, But I am really feeling like this. Everytime I meet a classmate, I may try to force myself to be a bit more social. However, I can't pull off a nice face sometimes. It hurts. I somehow have this freaky feeling that that I am untalented, weak, sensitive. The worse is, I flunked ALL my tests!!!! I also suck at sports.. I mean, though I am quite good in swimming, I cant perform well outside water! I think, even all the girls are much stronger than me!!!
Now, i really feel like making a sad looking Digital art to express my sad feelings...........................
BUT! I CAN'T!!!
I got homework, Lots of them. And lots and lots of upcomming dammed tests. I dont wanna fail them again. I need to force myself to study. It really feels like crap. Maybe you don't feel it. Maybe I am just too weak to pick myself up.
Yea, just hope things can get better.